We often take life very seriously, feeling like we have to be perfect with every choice we make. When we can step out of our perfectionism, and into our curiosity, we find there is a lot more space to explore who we are and how we want to be in the world. In this way, we are practicing the art of experimenting, rather than trying to do it right. 

There are no bad experiments. Just more pleasurable and less pleasurable experiments.

The key is to experiment consciously and reflect a little after your experiment: What was that like? What did it stir up? How did you feel? Did it delight you? What did you learn? Is there something you would do differently next time? Did that experiment stir up an idea for a new experiment?

When you experiment, life becomes a constant process of discovery, exploration, and ever-deepening learning. You co-create with life.

Pleasure is at the heart of the Tantric Path. It has the capacity to heal. And it’s closely identified with presence and play.

Sometimes we poo-poo or become suspicious of pleasure because we make it too small and narrow. Pleasure is vast and multi-layered. There is the pleasure from our five senses, which we use to truly delight in the world around us. There is the pleasure of insight and learning. There's the pleasure of connecting with something greater than ourselves. Making a contribution is a pleasure. Showing up in the world as our unique selves is a pleasure. Bringing delight, comfort, and pleasure to others is a great, great pleasure.

If you want to change something in your life or your relationship, you can dive deep into your issues or you can move towards what brings you more pleasure. What lights you up. Then, if the issues remain, they are easier to work out because you are operating from a place where your cup is more full.

You can’t make or demand life force to appear. But you can create the conditions where it is more likely to move through you, bringing with it a greater sense of play, spontaneity, insight, and possibility. 

When you consciously create a container, you are creating a space where something new and unexpected can be born. And what emerges is almost always a surprise.

It may sound paradoxical, but it seems that life force (spanda) likes to have a container (tapas) to move through. It needs a little containment to really let rip. 

This is part of the reason why, when women gather in a ritual way or couples create sacred time to be together, magic happens. 

Creating a container is also a way to connect to our intuition, to our most creative selves. We are all deeply wise and creative when we give ourselves the space to drop in and listen.